Dissimilis Lupinotuum

EVEN HE WHO IS PURE OF HEART AND SAYS HIS PRAYERS AT NIGHT, MAY BECOME A WOLF WHEN THE WOLFSBANE BLOOMS AND THE MOON IS FULL AND BRIGHT.


In my time i have been known by many many names, Grendel, Peter Stubb, Gilles Garnier, Lycaon even the Beast of Gevaudan, my modern name is Werewolf my ancient name is Lycan. I have wandered this realm for millennia cursed by what i am and by that on which i need to feed, a parasite on my half brother, lone survivor of a forgotten race.

Once again i find myself alone, an outcast, a pariah unable to seek solace in a woman or a warm fireplace like a mortal man, but fleeing like a leper to a woods or a cave to serve my lonely sentence away from they who might harm me, they who do not understand.

I was once a warrior, loved by my kind and feared by my enemy, but alas my race has gone. I once caught a hint from the wind of one my kind, in Paris in 1789, my veins pulsed and my heart soared and then he was gone, lost in the crowd of revolutionaries, to this day i have never sensed again one of my own.

I had a lover once, a mortal girl of great beauty, i chose her because i knew she could not bare a child, i could not put this curse upon another, for five years we were happy, she knew nothing of my state, my blood lust i could not control, and then they came for me, as they always do, with pitchfork and flame, they tortured her
to get to me, she died, i fled , the pain was so great i chose never to love again. I still miss her.

For two centuries now i have walked alone, my only belongings are my books, what need have i of modern words when i have Dante ,Shakespeare and Dickens? I live off Gaea, from the river, the tree and the bush, it is strange but my blood lust is much calmer these days, content am i to feed on fruit and berry and roadside kill and the mountain stream is my tap, until of course it rises, my lunar hex.

Its darkening now and so i wait, senses heightening, clouds tumble past and i feel my temperature rise, blood pumps fast and heart rate quickens, i watch as my nails turn to talons and fingers turn to claw, my hunger begins to take over me as the clouds pull back like curtains to reveal the moon, a full moon, a Hunters moon...

Staying "still"

My mind, my heart can't take it. So, what am I supposed to do? Can't believe i've let my guard down for you. Keeping the balance to prevent myself from falling. Fighting not to fall means fighting not to feel the PAIN. The pain that had nothing to do with broken bones, pain that was infinitely worse, pain that threatened to crush me. . .

I've made mistakes in my life. I've let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But, I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I'll know better next time and I won't settle for anything less than I deserve. . .

I watched her as she walk around the room. Amazed of how graceful she was. She heard me laughing at full volume behind her, my usual short hard laugh. . . Seeing her again last night from a distance made me realize, she is not the girl who can shake my world. Not that she can't, but I won't allow it. I must admit though, I miss her voice, her stories, her entirety. . .

I spent an hour dissecting her sentence structure on her last message, it's been more than a month and I still could not find the courage to reply and end this. I must admit though, while my mind says she is not the woman who can shake my world, my heart says I miss her. . .