It's been more than 3yrs since the last heartache disaster I've been through, now everything's getting blurry again... The brightness of my lame eyes' fading, tears falling like raindrops of neverend, drowning my emotions into the depth of sorrow... Blindly descending into darkness all over again....
A totally different scenario, but the same level of hurting... Damn you, Credz, damn you!!! Why did you have to let this happen? Her unconditional love, one that is so unique and serene in glory. A love I have experienced like no other, but was clouded by my troubled mind........gone.......like the smoke of the cigarette in my hand, slipping away with the wind of this cold Wednesday afternoon... And now, it's over........both of us free........but I feel colder.....
Perhaps, she's just tired of all the bullsh*t... And as the song goes, maybe somehow she's gotten tired of me as well. Maybe somehow, she's just fed up thinking that our love could change my thoughts about our arrangements which were consumed by my selfishness and all that... I thought we had nothing more to lose, but now, it's plain to see that the love we once needed and never thought I'd still need and will be needing and wanting forever couldn't just come back to me again, whenever I wish to or feel like it, whenever I demand...
The time to move to a new beginning lies ahead of me again.....chances are, she might need me at some point and that I don't want to miss... And so, I'm afraid I'll have to hang on and keep on hoping and praying about the possibility of "us" together again... Besides, there's nothing wrong with dreaming...
I maybe hurting like hell right now, but instead of giving up, I'll just indulge myself with it and prove to myself that "she" is all worth the pain.....for she have endured the exact same thing for me before as well...
(-,-)
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